Our life rotates around fire
It has warmth yet it is cold at heart
Fire devastates, destroys and decimates
but provides the heat and desire to live
Born of the spark and spirit of child
spreads its wings everywhere like a fierce dragon
flushed with permanent fever and heat
engulfs every life in less than a second
Setting the sky ablaze with color
a piercing red drives through the blue
Kindling a threat free of pure vice
setting the black carpet without a clue
Dancing softly the fire in time and again
with the wind it romances down the lane
feeling free, awakened ,enlightened with joy
leave behind the footprint of ashes as decoy
and then the fire whispers in the air it surrounds
there is no response but only rustling of the leaves
Fear spread deep into the life on earth
gasping and begging to spare him of death as dark
Forsaken in the storm of fire
stifled, suffering ,subdued underneath
Life breathes heavily succumb to suffocation
A light of earthling gets extinguished
Powerful and strong as it sounds
Prowess of a predator and agility of a prey
Fire stands out in history
the only force as both friend and foe
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,773 Reviews
Hey there and welcome to YWS! I'm Plume, here with a review!
I really enjoyed reading this poem! I think it's full of a lot of good metaphors and visuals, and it really made me feel like I was by a fire. Your imagery was stunning and it worked really well with the rest of the piece to create this really lovely poem! Nice work!
I really loved your utilization of contrast in this piece. I think it was especially evident in the last stanza, what with the "friend and foe." I also adored the line where you said "prowess of a predator and agility of a prey." I think that really encapsulated fire in a very zoomorphistic way. It was a really nice line, and I think it might be one of my favorites in this poem.
I also think the pictures you've included really add to the overall experience, though I feel like they were somewhat distracting at parts. I suggest maybe choosing one or two and like, superimposing the text over them? I just think that having the images throughout disrupts the flow.
I also wondered about the rhyme scheme. To me, it was a little inconsistent. There were some parts that rhymed, and others that didn't... I just feel like it would flow better if the rhyme scheme was more consistent. I know that poetry is subjective, but to me, I just didn't get the whole thing where certain lines would rhyme and others wouldn't.
Overall: really nice work! I think you've got a solid poem here that was a joy to read. Once again, welcome to the site. I hope to read more of your work in the future! Until next time!
thank you so much.... ill surely keep in my mind about the rhyming scheme next time
keep supporting me
thank you so much.... ill surely keep in my mind about the rhyming scheme next time
keep supporting me
Hey! Book_Dragon here for a quick review.
This is a very nice poem. I like how wrote both good and bad things about fire. It was also really cool how in the fourth section, you slowly transitioned from the light, dancing fire to the flames that eat and kill. It was just cool to read. The last stanza is also very powerful.
The only thing I would change is getting rid of the second "as" in the last line. Instead of "as the only force as both friend and foe," you could say "force both friend and foe." Plus, I think you accidentally put two spaces in the line, "flushed with permanent fever and heat."
That is all! Keep writing,
-Book_Dragon
i have rectified the mistake ..... thanks and keep supporting me
Hello Shyna,
I really liked your work. The way you described the fire was both terrifying and comforting .
The way you have personified fire as a dragon was really imaginative. It was very immersing experience altogether and you can't stop yourself to keep reading on. I liked the last lines of your poem best.
Altogether it was a very good piece of work.
Hoping to see more work from you.
Divyansh.
thank you so much .... keep supporting me